Thursday, July 12, 2012
There Is 'Toebesity' In America And Women Are Fixin' Those Fat Toes
Americans are getting bigger and BIGGER! Apparently, so are dem feets.
I have a hot girlfriend that has the biggest feet you have ever seen. They were so big at birth that her ankle-to-knee length was exactly the same. I know that sounds like a joke, but is 100% true. She also resembled Truman Capote and scared the hell out of her teen-dream mother. Yeah, good looking people get all effed up in the brains, if they have ugly kids. My friend grew up to be a lovely woman, but those feets of hers still look like they belong on Big Foot.
Okay, I will get to the heart of my story. According to an in depth search I performed on the interwebs today - You all know I just I web surfed to the Huffington Post as usual - more and more individuals are having surgery to beautify their feet. Specifically to eliminate the w-i-d-t-h of toes.
Apparently, women across Amercia are taking surgery risks because they love high heels and it's embarrassing to have Fred Flinstone feet. And that is fine with me, because I really don't want to see fabulous Christian Louboutin shoes with feet that look like this...